Phew! I am taking a break from setting up everything. I finished up my desk about a half-hour ago and am cleaning up a bit. It took a little over 3 hours and I did it myself! Although, I did get a small piece backwards and I plan on fixing it in a little while. I also got my new computer today and man…the screen is huge! It is like a small/medium sized TV! lol.
Anyways, I still have a lot of setting up to do. I am not sure if I am going to set up the computer tonight. I just want to take a long shower and sit down and relax. My lower back is killing me! I also think keeping busy has helped me feel better today. I am talking actively with my mom again, but I still haven’t talked to my youngest sister. It has been three days and honestly, it feels good not to have to interact with her and her negativity.
So, I have some more cleaning and moving of things to do, which I will probably do tomorrow and I may or may not set up the computer tonight. It all depends on how I feel.
I got another Stephen King book today. It was probably just a “apologizing gift”. Whatever. It’s called The Cell. I still haven’t started the other one I just got and I don’t have any idea when I will start this one. At this time, I am going through some crap, so I really don’t feel like doing much of anything. I am just so tired of things. I was suppose to set up my new computer desk, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. At the moment, I just don’t care. I know it has to get done though, so I will probably do it tomorrow.
At least I won’t have to set my sisters desk up. I won’t be helping her with anything anymore. She ruined any good will I had towards her yesterday. It’s all gone and I am tired of her. I have a lot of things I need to figure out with my life because I don’t know how much more I can take.
I am trying to keep myself occupied with different projects, so I don’t get too depressed and so I don’t burst out into tears. I just feel so defeated. I am just so tired. I just sit here and all I can think of and wonder is, is this how my life is always going to be? Will I ever truly be happy with myself and my existence? I seriously don’t think so and I realize a big part of me just wants to give up and that scares me.
*sigh* So I checked the tracking on my computer and it changed. It now will be here between the 11th and 14th. I know it’s not a big deal, but I ordered on the 4th and they apparently didn’t even process my order till the 6th. Oh well I guess. I will just have to wait. I plan on helping my sister set up her new desk tomorrow and we will do mine on Saturday or Sunday.
I may be getting my new computer chair tomorrow or Saturday also. The one I have now is basically complete crap, but it is comfortable. I have been trying to find a decent priced one that also won’t kill my back and we found one at Staples that is really nice and is also on sale. I thought I might have to order one online, but the shipping charges for a chair is very expensive, so we tried to find one around here.
Besides that, nothing much going on. My older sister brought home this delicious lasagna that she made at work and it was so good. She brings us some of the best tasting dishes. We won’t be having that anymore after a while. She found a new job in another area that is like 3 hours away, (because her current establishment sold-out and other personal reasons I won’t discuss here) and she starts it around the 12th or something. I am happy for her because she is obviously much happier with her life now then when she was with her abusive, ex-husband, but she is moving away from us and that is kind of sad. I know it’s not as far as my other sister who lives in Vegas, but it still isn’t near us. I think my mom is going to be the one that it will hurt the most. :[
So, I got my new desk today. I haven’t set it up yet because I am not feeling very well, but I think I will do it sometime this weekend. Unless my computer gets here sooner.
Lately, I’ve been craving Arby’s Roast Beef Cheddar Melts. (I had two) Unfortunately for me, I love them way too much. Especially, smothered in the Arby sauce and horseradish sauce. That will do me no good.
Here’s what my new desk looks like: