So, I log into a message board that I am a member of to find out I have a pm. I check this private message only to find out that an anonymous poster on a forum bought me 6-month platinum membership. This gift is worth $40! I was so speechless. I asked the administrator to thank the person for me because they were anonymous and I couldn’t do it in person.
It was just out of the blue and really, it just brightened my day. I have been having kind of a blah week and this was just so nice. Whoever you are, thank you for the gift. I really appreciate it!
Sorry I haven’t been posting much. Nothing much has been really going on with me and I have been feeling so blah lately. I hate when I get this way. I think it’s because winter is setting in and frankly, my financial situation isn’t helping either. I just wish certain aspects of my life would get better you know?
I got another Stephen King book today. It was probably just a “apologizing gift”. Whatever. It’s called The Cell. I still haven’t started the other one I just got and I don’t have any idea when I will start this one. At this time, I am going through some crap, so I really don’t feel like doing much of anything. I am just so tired of things. I was suppose to set up my new computer desk, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. At the moment, I just don’t care. I know it has to get done though, so I will probably do it tomorrow.
At least I won’t have to set my sisters desk up. I won’t be helping her with anything anymore. She ruined any good will I had towards her yesterday. It’s all gone and I am tired of her. I have a lot of things I need to figure out with my life because I don’t know how much more I can take.
I am trying to keep myself occupied with different projects, so I don’t get too depressed and so I don’t burst out into tears. I just feel so defeated. I am just so tired. I just sit here and all I can think of and wonder is, is this how my life is always going to be? Will I ever truly be happy with myself and my existence? I seriously don’t think so and I realize a big part of me just wants to give up and that scares me.